So. I’m at the GP’s. After extensive research on the tinterweb, obsessive reading of Mum Discussion Forums (if you’re newly pregnant, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD avoid these places – they scared the bejesus out of me) and consulting with the fella, I surmised I was about six weeks pregnant.
Now. correct me if I’m wrong. I thought, I’d go to the doctor, whisper “Hello doctor, I think I might be pregnant”, she’d say “ok so, but we’ll do a test, just in case”. NOT THE CASE MY FRIENDS, not at all. What did she say? “Grand. How pregnant do YOU think you are?” Now, I don’t mind saying, this freaked me out. I have a very active imagination, have been known to embellish the truth for the sake of a good story on many an occasion and to be perfectly honest, was spending a good portion of every day wondering if I’d made my baby up to add a bit of colour to my life. I was RELYING on the doctor to confirm or deny my pregnancy. Well. She didn’t.
She opened up a screen on her computer, asked me about my last period and agreed with my online diagnosis that I was six week’s pregnant and that I was due around the beginning of February. WTF?! There was no testing of the wee, no rubbing of my tummy to feel the baby, NO NOTHING! And, to add insult to injury? I was told to go away, make an appointment at the hospital I wanted to go to and see them in SIX WEEK’S TIME.
Well, I don’t need to tell you, six weeks is an awful long time to be sitting around waiting to be told if you are actually pregnant. During that time, I got VERY VERY TIRED, very. But couldn’t sleep. And had to wee all the time – about eighteen times a night. But when I did wee, there was none to be had (frustrating isn’t a word strong enough for this). I went to America with the fella and his family and had a lovely time, though I was concerned that the heat would cook my baby – I spent alot of the time hugging the air conditioner.
Things I was scared of during this time include:
1. Cheese. All kinds. You are told you can’t eat soft cheese, but nobody defines it. This meant for the first while I gave a devil’s stare to all cheese, including processed stuff like Laughing Cow and Calvita (not technically cheese I would think, but anyway).
2. The bath. Too hot could cause me to miscarry, too cold could freeze the baby (I made that up).
3. All kinds of salami/pepperoni/chorizo. As the editor of a food magazine this occupied lots of my time – I love cured meats as much as the next person, but the idea of them hurting my baby, well, that meant they were out.
4. My wardrobe. While not looking pregnant, I did puff out loads during this period. All my clothes looked and felt funny. And I resented them.
5. My boobs. Sore, but not getting visibly bigger, I felt I had gotten the short straw. No fair boobs. no. fair.
6. Constantly feeling hungover. Now this, my friends, is one of the closely guarded secrets of being newly pregnant. YOU FEEL HUNGOVER All. THE. TIME. I am not lying. Tired, lethargic, headachey, pukey, craving no fruit or veg, only fried food. It’s pretty vile.
7. Your fanny hurts. Yes. You heard me. More on this in the next post.