Hello frustration, I’ve been expecting you

“Are you ok? How many times have you wee’d tonight? Any sign of the mucus?”

Such is the sexy refrain from the fella during my now hourly runs to the toilet in the dead of the night. It’s nearly the end of my prego journey and there’s still no sign of the little fella, despite lots of promising twinges and ohhh-that-might-have-been-a-contraction’s. Every night when I go to sleep I think to myself that it might be the last night the fella and I have together, and every morning I wake up to NO BLOODY BABY!

My mother has been amazing. She has taken on the role of babysitting/amusing me while the fella is at work, and to be honest, I think I would have lost it altogether by now if it wasn’t for her. The combined fear of the baby not coming with the idea that he might arrive in such a rush while I’m on my own that I won’t have time to boil some water and I’ll end up splattering baby juice all over my walls is quite the heady combination, I assure you.

I’m doing everything you’re supposed to; cleaning lots, bouncing on my birthing ball, having severe chats with the bump. Eating pineapple is an olympic sport for me at the moment and I’ve started to take Evening Primrose Oil to, and I quote “ripen my cervix.” I know – gross. I am not taking it the way you’re meant to though – which is sticking it in your fanny  – some things are too much.

Today, I plan to walk the baby out of me. My love affair with Oprah Winfrey of last week has officially died a death, and if I find myself getting excited because the Ellen show is on in an hour again I’ll kill myself. So, I’m taking my bump and my arse toning runners to the streets in the vague hope that the little fella decides that today is the day… wish me luck!


About Ciara McDonnell

Ouch My Fanny Hurts was born in the late stages of my first pregnancy. I was sick and tired of everyone going on and ON about how brilliant it is to be pregnant, when actually, lots of it was quite crap really. And, my fanny hurt a lot. So, I decided to tell the truth about my experience while I was pregnant, and the journey I have been on since, as our little fella grew a little bigger, and we brought our second son into the world in what turned out to be fairly scary circumstances. It’s my story, and I am delighted to share it.
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6 Responses to Hello frustration, I’ve been expecting you

  1. SarahJane says:

    I was wondering, I keep checking the blog and there has been nothing for a few days, so thought the big day might have arrived!
    Hope the little one arrives soon! 🙂

  2. Fionnuala says:

    Where can I find other things you write??? This is my saving grace! I think you’re brilliant! 🙂

    • YAAAY! Thanks for your lovely comment! Well, at the moment I am on maternity leave, so am taking it easy and writing this blog for fun, but usually my day job is editing Easy Food Magazine which is a lovely job altogether! I hope you keep reading, and be sure to keep me up to date on your journey! Ciara x

  3. Siobhan says:

    I love reading your blog so much! ‘Baby juice’ is now a keeper phrase for me. Best of luck for when the day comes and please keep updating us!

    Shiv x

  4. karina says:

    My goodness you are describing my life RIGHT now – I was due yesterday!!!! Loving this blog, and im glad you mentioned the hairy tummy as was starting to think I was a freak!

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