The big bite

At first it looked as though he was giving me a kiss. Arms wrapped tightly around my legs as he cooed “Mammy. MAMeee.” Before I could react, I felt a million sharp teeth sink into my leg and clamp on, head waving for extra pull.

“Jesus  CHRIST. Get off! GET OFF!!!!” I started waving my leg about to try to dislodge him from his deathgrip. No dice. Hysterical now, I start pleading. “Come on baby, let go. It’s not nice. NOT NICE. Please. Just. Stop. Biting. Me.”

Oh dear God. My son is a biter.

The psychological impact this attack had on me was manifold. I started questioning my parenting technique, my (lack of ) discipline, my over-reliance on Peppa Pig as a tool of bribery.

But, when I consulted the Google Oracle, it seems that I am not alone. It’s what two year olds do, apparently.

While it doesn’t make things better, it makes me FEEL better that my kid isn’t a tiny delinquent. Is that wrong?

Also, between you and me: after crying over the bloody wound on my leg, I did pause to admire how straight his teethmarks were. Proud. Very proud.


About Ciara McDonnell

Ouch My Fanny Hurts was born in the late stages of my first pregnancy. I was sick and tired of everyone going on and ON about how brilliant it is to be pregnant, when actually, lots of it was quite crap really. And, my fanny hurt a lot. So, I decided to tell the truth about my experience while I was pregnant, and the journey I have been on since, as our little fella grew a little bigger, and we brought our second son into the world in what turned out to be fairly scary circumstances. It’s my story, and I am delighted to share it.
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3 Responses to The big bite

  1. Maud says:

    Ouch. So long as it’s only you he bites, that’s fine. (Ouch. Not fine, but you know what I mean.) If he starts biting his friends, that’s when you’ll feel Less Than. (But it’s still normal. Just horrible normal. Mabel has been a bit of a biter on and off. We just kept talking about it and re-emphasising not to do it, and things she could do instead. It might help to try to figure out the triggers – teething, curiosity, anger, attention-seeking…You know the drill.)

  2. Joanna says:

    This was ages ago but my youngest girl bit me one day and the pain was severe. I said to my husband after I ‘recovered’ that it wasn’t the biting itself that upset me it was that I felt that a piece of me had bitten myself!!!

  3. Colette says:

    I hear ya! Except in this house, all three of my offspring found it hilarious to bite the boobs that fed and comfort them… The PAIN!!!!!!!!

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