Right. If you are a new parent, or a parent who is in the trenches of sleepless nights and evil tantrum HELL, I have to tell you: IT’S GOING TO BE OK.
I’m telling you this, because after three and a half years of being a Mum and having NO SLEEP and having kids in my bed, and being screamed at all day, every day… there seems to be a lull.
Not to make you jealous, but yesterday, at 2pm, I watched a recording of Celebrity Masterchef, while my kids amused themselves, playing together. Without Screaming.
This has never happened. There has never been a day where I am not like a wet dishcloth by the end of it. There has never been an outfit that is not covered in children’s bodily fluids. There has NEVER been a day when I have gone for my second shower of the day, because I don’t want to get into bed smelling faintly like poo.
Yesterday, was different. They played, I cooked. They watched some telly, I worked. They played chasing, I cleaned the kitchen. Without. Interruption. Then, last night, when they were asleep *BY SEVEN*, I watched three episodes of tv with my fella. I usually fall asleep twenty minutes into the first one.
Last night, it was 2.30am before the first pitter patter of tiny feet made it into our bedroom. This usually happens at 10pm.
The biggest thing, THE GREATEST THING, is that today I dared to wear a white top. If you parent young kids, you know how perilous this can be. It is 4.24pm and my top remains white. I could even go to the shops and not be morto by the stains on it. Because there ARE NONE.
Maybe a change is coming. Maybe, JUST MAYBE this is what all those well-meaning strangers meant, when they used to come up to me in the supermarket, as I was carting two babies around – all three of us bawling – and patted me on the shoulder, saying “it will get easier. You won’t know yourself in a few years.”
Back then, I wanted to punch them in their smug fuckery faces. But today, I think – no, I HOPE – that they were actually right.
So, it’s half four. If you are sitting on the couch, reading this on your phone while balancing a wailing child and arguing with another one(es) about whether they can have another chocolate biscuit, I’m saying: IT’S GOING TO BE OK.
I may be a smug fucker, but I think it might be true.